Thursday, February 23, 2012

Scene Two, Akhdan.

It was dark indeed, I didn't see him clearly, but the radiance from his face, just wows my eye. It's official, my eyeball was captured by the sparks from his face, and I just couldn't stop looking at his face. Then, I remembered a surah shared by a friend of mine, Akhdan, he's one of the preacher in a school where I work, he once wrote something on a piece of paper, and left it on my desk. I knew it was from him, who else could it be. 

QS. Ali lmraan (3) : 106 - 107, 

I was puzzled at first, but then at home, I opened the Holy Qu'ran, began to search for the surah, and I found this ;

On the Day [some] faces will turn white and [some] faces will turn black. As for those whose faces turn black, [to them it will be said], "Did you disbelieve after your belief? Then taste the punishment for what you used to reject."

..I looked down, with sense of deep shame upon myself. I mean; I've been taught to perform solat since I was 5 years old, by my dad, who loves me more than himself. I've never missed solat for my entire life. But when I was 13, he died when he was in his way to the surau for Fajr prayer. A drunker stabbed him to death, stole his bike and left him dead. And for some sort of rebellious towards Allah SWT, I stopped performing solat and everything what had been taught to me. After that, I studied hard, excel In exams, graduated from the university, and finally got a good job; A counselor at a prestigious school somewhere in the Kuala Lumpur area. 

But clearly, I regretted all of my wrong doings toward Allah SWT, I've been so far from Allah SWT, and yet, I didn't even try to help myself to find Him. As it was meant to be, tears starts to dropping, I was so scared. Naively, I asked myself, which one of those two men is me? Though I knew, but I tried so hard to deny it. If my dad were still alive, he would be very disappointed with me. 

- Silence with disgrace - To be continued. Hehe.

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